The Parent in Charge Quiz

Assess your parenting style and family hierarchy by circling the response that most accurately reflects your experience with your child(ren).

1. My children boss me or tell me what to do.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My kids would never dream of ordering me around!

2. If I say no to something, my child will go to my spouse oranother adult to get what he or she wants.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My kid would never dream of answer shopping!

3. When I say no to my child, I get eye-rolling, arm-folding, stomping, door-slamming, and a series of looks as if I’m from another planet.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My kid would never dream of disrespecting me like that!

4. My child says things like “whatever” or whispers things under his or her breath to or about me.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My child knows better than to do that.

5. My children whine, beg, and plead to get what they want.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My children know that “Please, may I…” is the only way to get what they want.

6. My child insults me or calls me “lame,” “retarded,” “backward,” or other names.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My kid wouldn’t dare insult me!

7. My children complain of boredom; I have to make sure they are entertained.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My kids know that I will assign them a list of chores a mile long if they complain of being bored. They keep themselves occupied independently.

8. My children’s behavior is intolerable at restaurants or other public places to the point where I cannot take them anywheredecent behavior is expected.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My kids know that they will be eating nothing but wheat bread and broccoli if they act out in public!

9. When other children misbehave in my home, I feel powerless to intervene or discipline them.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? Any child who comes to my home must follow my rules; if he refuses to accept my rules or discipline, he will leave and not return until that changes.

10. My children do not seem to care what I think of their behavior, so I do not acknowledge, praise, respect, or show appreciation for positive behavior.
A. Often
B. Sometimes
C. Are you kidding? My children and I thrive on mutual gratitude and expression of affection, especially when they behave well!

If you circled “C” on all (or almost all) 10 items, congratulations! You are a Parent in Charge. Of course, you can always learn how to more securely maintain a proper family hierarchy and manage your children, but you are on the right track.
If you circled “A” or “B” on multiple items, you are a more Submissive Parent. If you read and utilize the principles and techniques included in Desperately Seeking Parents, however, you can become a Parent in Charge.